Inspirational Reading

We all suffer. It’s a part of the human experience. We don’t like to suffer but I understand now that it is necessary. What’s important is how we deal with suffering. We can find healthy ways to experience and push through suffering. We can also prevent unnecessary suffering. 

Before reading this book, I didn’t give myself much space to suffer. I’ve developed the habit of being in denial about my suffering, and so, I would ignore it. When something happened, my first tendency was to say to myself, “everything is fine, it’s no big deal.” If I started to feel bad about what happened, I got mad at myself for feeling bad because there were so many other things that I had to feel grateful for. This was not healthy. When something bad happens, it’s okay to feel sad, mad, scared, or frustrated. My feelings were and always will be valid.

This book has taught me to instead sit with my suffering and tend to it as you would a child who is in need. If a baby is upset and crying, you may become frustrated by their crying. Then you realize that the baby is hungry and you just need to give the baby the food it needs. Maybe the baby is hurt or upset and has to cry to release its emotions. When I was young and crying, my grandma would rub my back and tell me to, “let it all out.” This is exactly what I needed at that moment. Sometimes, a baby just needs you to hold it while it cries. Our suffering is like a baby. We need to be aware of it, be present with it, and address its needs. 

Sadness is a common form of suffering. Recognize when you’re sad, sit with it, and use tools that help you express that feeling. When I’m sad, I might play a song that expresses that same feeling. I might cry by myself or with a friend. I might go for a run. Figure out healthy actions that facilitate the release of that emotion. You may need different things at different times. Be patient with yourself as you cope with suffering. Make sure that the actions you take are healthy and will not add to your suffering. Sometimes, we consume and indulge in addictions to cover up our suffering. After we consume, the suffering is still there. We may even have caused more harm to ourselves or others by indulging in unhealthy coping mechanisms. J. Cole sums it up perfectly with his lyrics, “Life can bring much pain. There are many ways to deal with this pain. Choose wisely.”

Another lesson that I learned from this book is that pain tells us when something is wrong. If I fall and break my leg, I feel pain in my leg so that I can correct the damage and walk correctly. If I broke my leg and didn’t feel pain, I probably wouldn’t do anything about it. I could develop a limp and have difficulty running or climbing. When we get sick, we feel tired and get a fever so that we know to rest. This rest allows our body to heal itself. Pain is necessary for survival and a part of the human experience.

Other Key Takeaways:

• We need adversity to experience growth
• Suffering allows us to have compassion and empathy
• A beautiful Lotus can only grow through and because of mud

There are many more lessons in this book that help us navigate suffering. I strongly encourage you to check it out! Find it on Amazon here.